i've officially experienced the other side

So, how many times in my life have I sat in a room taking a standarized test and regarded the proctor with jealousy because all he/she has to do is sit there and read a book and make sure all of us students aren't cheating? Probably at least 50, and stretching back to ITBS tests in the 4th grade all the way through the LSAT that I took in Paris in December. I always wondered what it would be like to be in a classroom where you were the only person not completely absorbed by the monotony that is standardized testing, and to simply read a book while all the students around you were stressed out and wracking their brains to remember everything they had learned in school in order to move forward in their educations. Yesterday, I went over to the other side, and found sweet bliss. I may never be able to take another standardized test again.

Last week, I checked my cubby hole/mailbox at the school, and found a printout of what resembled my schedule except with a new block added to 8 am on Thursday of this week: BAC-BLANC. Attached, was a note from the Proviseur-Adjoint (Asst. Principal) telling me that they were having pretests for the Baccaulaureate this week and that all teachers would be helping to "Surveiller" or Proctor. For those who are not familiar with France, the Baccaulaureate (le Bac) is the major exam that all French students must take in June of their final year in high school. It covers all classes that the students are specializing in and takes about 10 days with different sections. It is a kind of 'Rite of Passage,' and my students (the serious ones, at least) are already freaking out about it. We have nothing like this in the US - imagine being forced to take a standardized test in Calculus or Literature or Chemistry, history, or even a foreign language -- and in June after senior year! They even have one on Art. The closest would be the ACT or SAT, but we take that long before the end of senior year, and it basically has nothing to do with what we've learned in high school because on top of studying for your classes you have to learn how to take these tests as well. Also, if they fail it, they're basically set up to fail in life. They can take it again, but they have to pay for it (it's over 100 euros, I believe) and who wants to put that they failed the Bac on a job application? So what I helped with yesterday could probably be equivalent to the PSAT or the PLAN because it's the same format and everything, but it's just practice and it gives the students an idea of what their score will be and what areas they need to work on.

So, the note said I needed to be there ten minutes early to get all the test booklets to take to the class. Our school starts at 8:15 but one of the teachers told me she thought the Bac-Blanc would start at 8 because that's how the real Bac will be. So I got myself up early and was at the school at 7:50. I was so nervous! I couldn't believe they would trust me to be in charge in a testing room. The Proviseur-Adjoint laughed at me because I was 25 minutes early, because we were not to begin until 8:15, but I think he was impressed (YAY brownie points!). He handed me the tests, told me the room I was supposed to be in, and told me that they were not to leave until 10 am. He also said he thought that this would be a good opportunity for me to see how the French testing system works and that it was too bad I wouldn't be there to proctor the real Bac (thank goodness). Then he said that this is very serious and that we need to make it as much like the conditions of the real Bac as possible, so don't have my nose buried in a book the whole time, look up and make sure they are testing from time to time. So I thought, Ok, that's just great, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do or say, and this is super important for all of these kids, but maybe there will be a proctor sheet telling me what to do in the room. That's all he told me. I, who had never been on this side of the equation before had no idea of any other questions, so I left it at that and went to find the room. When I got there, it was locked, and of course I did not have the correct key. So it got closer and closer to 8:15 and the students were waiting outside and we couldn't get into the room! Finally, a fellow teacher walked through and unlocked it, shaking her head at my "amateur-ish" ways. So we got in, and the students started to settle into the classroom. It quickly became apparent that I had no idea what was going on, especially when the only proctor sheet told me that they couldn't leave the room under any circumstances and that they couldn't smoke or use cell phones. Duh. There were different-colored sheets of paper on the desk, and two different-colored answer sheets on the desk, and I had no idea which was the correct one. I tried to play it cool and circulate the signature sheet while figuring out what to do next in my head. By this time the 8:15 bell had already rung and the serious students were getting antsy. They had pulled out tissues, snacks, water, etc (I had no idea of they were supposed to have all that on their desks or not, but I didn't want to be mean and take it away if it was ok). One of my English students I guess could tell that I was struggling and raised her hand and offered to help pass things out. Then three other (also intense) students hopped up and in less than thirty seconds all answer sheets and (I guess) scratch paper were passed out. I hope it was all correct, but if not just chalk it up to the clueless American Assistant. Then, I passed out the tests and they got started. Turns out it was a math test, and I had one extra when I finished so I flipped through it. It made me nauseous. It had all kinds of triangles with sin, cosin, and tan in the answer choices and angles and all that disgusting stuff that I sort of knew how to do five years ago. So I sat at the desk at the front of the room and looked out at all the students and my heart really went out to them. I noticed they were writing what looked like essays under math problems. What is there to write about math? I continued to feel nauseous. I felt like I was right there with them, then I remembered "No, I'm the Proctor!" So I pulled out my book and started reading. It was wonderful, the sick feeling went away and I soon forgot about all of the disgusting math problems that were being solved in front of me as I plunged myself into my book (of course, coming up for air every few paragraphs to make sure they weren't cheating). It was quite lovely, and very conducive to reading, and everything that I thought proctoring would be. About halfway into the hour, one of my English students raised her hand to see if she could go to the bathroom. I looked at the proctor sheet one more time to make sure it didn't say anything about using the toilet, but it didn't, so I told her no, sorry. But she didn't argue and went straight back to testing. Oh well, hopefully her bladder didn't explode. I went back to reading. The hour went up pretty quickly, and I was actually a little sad when the next teacher came to relieve me. But then, it was a beautiful day outside so I went for a walk, and briefly thought about the poor students stuck inside solving impossible math problems, and felt a tinge of guilt for enjoying such a nice day. Then I remembered the hours of my life I have spent in the same place and the guilt quickly went away and I went into town to shop the sales and enjoy the weather. Maybe if law school doesn't work out, I could become a professional proctor??